Fireman tells of his agony on drugs

He was rushed into service during the bitter 1980 Chicagofirefighters' strike, when there was no time for drug testing and nopublic pressure for it.

At age 22, he said, he was a cocaine addict and an alcoholicpushing drugs on the side to support his growing habit. His buddiescovered for him as he "sleepwalked" through the rigorous job offighting fires, he said.

"Once an hour, I would find a safe place in the firehouse tosnort a line of coke," said the man, whose first name is Tim. "Itcould be anywhere - a washroom stall, an empty locker room, a darkbasement, maybe my car. Then I would pray we weren't called to amajor fire.

"I was just lucky none of my buddies got killed because of myinability to perform. I was in such a daze, I could have walked offa rooftop.

"I wish we had drug testing then. It would have saved me a lotof agony."

The drug testing controversy erupted this week after FireCommissioner Louis T. Galante ordered surprise tests for 66 top aidesand prepared to step up screening for rank-and-file firefighters.

The American Civil Liberties Union branded the surprise testingof top brass illegal. Union leaders demanded that supervisors provework-related problems before testing an employee for drugs.

But for Tim, now a 28-year-old recovered addict, Galante'sprogram is not a threat.

Recognizing his drug problem, Tim entered the Fire Department'semployee assistance program voluntarily. Galante wants to make theprogram mandatory for firefighters who test positive for drugs.

Back on duty yesterday, Tim said it has been 2 1/2 years sincehe has had a drink or snorted cocaine. Drug testing, he said, wouldhelp him "stay clean."

The Fire Department's program "may save a few more lives, likeit did mine," Tim said.

By the time Tim was hired as a strike-breaker, the cocainedabbling he started at age 17 had become an ounce-a-week habit, hesaid. He would routinely spend his 48 off-duty hours partyingnonstop, he said. He often would arrive for work hours late, to thedisgust of colleagues and supervisors, he said.

"I'd come to the firehouse exhausted because I hadn't eaten orslept in two days," Tim said. "I had to increase my intake of cocaineto get enough energy to get through the day. I'm a solid 185 poundsnow. Then, I was down to 160."

By early 1984, Tim had suffered three drug-related seizures.His marriage was destroyed, and his 28-year-old brother, analcoholic, had drowned in a bathtub, he said. He was at rock bottomand ready for help.

He checked into the detoxification center at Martha WashingtonHospital and called the Fire Department's employee assistance programfor counseling, he said.

Tim and counselor Jim Hutchison have been in constant contactever since, he said.

"Never once was I punished for coming forward and saying, `I'man addict. I need help,' " Tim said. "After the hospital, I startedliving in a halfway house for addicts. The Fire Departmenttransferred me to a 9 to 5 administrative job to accommodate it.

"I feel lucky to be alive. I feel chosen. Hopefully, the nextguy won't have to go through the extremes that I did. Maybe helpwill reach him sooner."